Fast Times With Tails the Fox
by cloud-crine
Summary: Tails goes for a wild ride, but will he survive? Please read & review I might be begging but it is worth it
1. Fall of Tails

Tails the Fox was walking on the sidewalk and then a man said, "Hey kid, come over here" to Tails. Tails was nervous. "Uh, what do you want?" Tails said, slowly edging closer. "I got some cool candies, they're awesome. I made them myself" said the man. "Cool, what is this!" Tails said to the man. "This one is called Cocrane, and this one is called Mirth. Here is some Weird." said the man, tricking Tails into thinking they are not drugs. "Awesome, I will buy the Cocrane." said Tails, not knowing it was really Cocaine. "Now this is a special candy, so to really taste it, you have to grab a straw and snort it." said the man. "OK, I will!" said Tails an he went home to have some Cocrane.

**_later_**

* * *

Tails snorted his "Cocrane" "Woooooahhh...Kooky!" said Tails. "Aaaaa...Aaaaaaaa..." Tails said then he collapsed on the floor. Sonic came into Tails' room, hoping they could fuck. They had been dating for 3 years. "Tails!" said Sonic. Sonic was worried, but instead of giving him medical care, he saw this as a golden opportunity to fuck Tails' brains out. Sonic pulled down his pants to reveal his 6 inch cock. He turned the unconscious Tails over, and stuck his dick in there. His cock was so hard, and it was electric. It was generating electric cum. Sonic cummed all over inside Tails, his electric sperm shocking him back to consciousness. Sonic collapsed, his dry, wrinkled, shriveled up penis had electric sperm and blood coming out like a fountain. Sonic's dick would need 1 month to recover. Sonic said "No...I fucked Tails and he didnt even get to experience it...now I gotta wait 1 whole month!" Tails woke up, his butt pouring out blood, shit, fungus, and electric cum. Tails' butt was green and was throbbing and pulsating. Then, Tails' left buttcheek popped! Pus, blood, fungus, electric cum, was flowing out like it was Niagara Falls. Then Tails said. "Whatever, I need some Cocrane." Tails said then he snorted it. Tails saw Amy there, even though she had been dead for 3 years. "What..Amy! I thought you were dead!" said Tails. "Wrong, Tails!" Amy said then she pulled off her shirt to reveal her see through bra. She was so wet, and her breasts were so big, unlike the real Amy, who was dead and had tiny breasts. You could barely call them breasts. Anyway, Tails was turned on, and his dick transformed into a Machine Gun that shoots sperm. Tails charged at Amy, and stuck his cock up her vagina, tearing her panties into shreds. His Machine Gun Cock shot the sperm up in there, and Amy fucking exploded. Tails woke up, to see that he was lying in a pool of his own blood.


	2. Fast Times

Omochao was shooting some hoops at the park. "You stink dude!" said Tails, who was disappointed in Omochao's terrible basketball skills. "Sorry man. Maybe you can teach me how to play like the best of them!" said Omochao who was sort of upset at Tails' rude coments, and his self esteem was damaged. He let Tails' mean words get to him, and he was feeling down. So then, Omochao grabbed the basketball and threw it at the hoop. He failed to get it in 20 times. By now, his failures and Tails' mean words were really starting to get to him, so he tried 20 more times. Now, a crowd was laughing at him. Omochao was getting frustrated and sad, so he tried 20 more times. He could not do it. So he grabbed a rock, and bashed his head with it 20 times. Omochao's lifeless corpse lay there on the court, his brains were splattered everywhere and blood poured out.

* * *

Tails was looking for the man he got the candy from the other day. He was hoping he would have some new candy. He found the man, but the man was dead. A knife was piercing his heart, and there was a large pool of blood. Tails turned him over, and stole his supply. He found some Weird, which was mislabeled as Weed, and some Crocane, mislabeled as Cocaine. "This dude sucks at spelling!" yelled Tails to himself! Tails saw some men walking around the corner. They were probably taking a shortcut. "What the fuck!" said one of the men. He saw the candy man's dead body. "Did you do this"he said to Tails!" he said to Tails! Tails aidsaid "No I found him dead! Please don't hurt me!" The man said "Then why are you taking his supply! Lying fucking shit bastard!" said the man, then the man's cohorts shot at Tails. Tails used his tails to get out of there! "FUCK! They will shoot me. Maybe I will get an energy boost from this Crocane." Tails snorted the Crocane, then he crashed into the ocean. The men shot at the water.

* * *

Underwater, Tails saw Amy fucking Shadow's brains out. Literally. She stuck her cock in his mouth, and his brains blew out everywhere Then, Knuckles' giant corpse floated at him. Then rainbow swor to ds imapled the corpse, which caused it to explode into a million Rouge corpses. Then the Rouge corpses turned into snakes which opened their mouths, and Shadow's penis fell from the sky, which turned into a giant flying polka dotted swan, which carved a hole in its own back causing swan heads to flood the entire world of Mobius. Then Tails' cock exploded.

Then Tails woke up from his Cocaine hallucination, and he barfed blood.


	3. Sonic & Knuckles

Sonic was at the hospital getting a dick transplant. He was going to have a dick that shoots flames. It was Knuckles' dick. Knuckles was getting Sonic's shriveled up electric dick, which didn't work anymore. It is not like Knuckles would need the dick. The doctor showed up to switch the dicks, but when he took off Sonic's dick, it disintegrated. "Nooo! Now I will not have a dick!" said Knuckles, so he did not let the doctor take his dick. He stabbed the doctor in both eyes and threw him out a window. But since he was not paying attention, Sonic grabbed him from behind, and cut off his dick. Then Sonic absorbed the dick, and got the new dick. Knuckles said "Noooooooooo! I have no dick!" "Well now you are not a Man!" said Sonic, and he pushed Knuckles out the window, and he was impaled by a statue. Then he was dead. "What a fool!" said Sonic, who knew the dick would disintegrate. This was his plan to kill Knuckles. Now that Knuckles was dead, he could fuck Rouge's brains out. And Tails would not know. Sonic wanted to fuck every single person in the world, that was his life's goal. By now, he had already fucked 95% of the world's population. That includes me. That includes you. He fucked you in your sleep. He had penetrated your anus with his enormous electric cock, and you did not even know. Periods do not exist. It is just Sonic fucking you hard. Sonic had already fucked Tails, Knuckles, Shadow, and Amy's corpse, and the rest of his friends. All that was left was Rouge. He had to fuck Rouge. Rouge was sexy, and Sonic was on a mission, so he just HAD to fuck her. Sonic was masturbating in the hospital room.

* * *

Tails rose up out the water, coughing up blood and piss. Tails could not see his pursuers anywhere, but he needed a disguise, so he went to the disguise store to buy one. He bought a mustache and some sunglasses, a fedora and a trenchcoat and some Sexy skinny jeans to attract young girls. He also bought some condoms. Tails went to the diner and there he saw a sexy waitress who went by the name of Ally the Skunk. She was stinky, but that just turned Tails on. So then they fucked in the bathroom. Those condoms sure did come in handy. But she exploded, and her blood and guts and shit got all over the wall, which was disgusting. Tails opened the bathroom door, releasing that large stink into the diner, killing everyone, except Tails who was used to this big stink, having lived with Sonic. Sonic stinks after he faps, which is every day, because he is perpetually aroused. Thinking about Sonic's daily chicken choking turned Tails on, so he began to fap in that stinky restaurant. The stink crawled inside Tails dick, and turned into a person. Tails had no dick now because his dick was a person. "Hey Tails," Tails' Dick said, "Want to do gay sex with your own dick?" Tails of course said yes, because this is a twice in a lifetime opportunity.

Tails' Dick fucked Tails so hard that Tails was coughing up blood.


	4. Drug Days

Tails' Dick said "You are a truly good fuck target. Time for me to transform back into your dick." Tails' Dick said, but the stink was so strong, Tails got his dick back, and Tails' Dick still had a body. Tails' Dick became Tails' Old Dick, and Tails' New Dick had 3x the power of his Old Dick. Tails' Old Dick decided to change his name, and started calling himself Tails Doll. "Cool. Now this is where we go our seperate ways, Tails! Goodbye" said Tails Doll and then he left. "I just had sex with my dick who transformed into a person, and now I got a new dick!" said Tails to himself. He decided to go test his new dick out on Princess Elise, a sexual babe who he always lusted for, and had sex dreams about at night. But to make his sexual experience more better, he decided to snort some Cocaine. "Woooooooooooo!" Suddenly, 20 Princess Elises came through the door of the diner, and all stripped for Tails! They did sexual dances around Tails, and shook their booty and boobies for him. This turned Tails on, and his dick turned into a sword, which he used to slash 20 Sonics. "Fuck you Sonic! How come you got to fuck Elise! Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!" said Tails. Then he fucked all 20 Elises at once, because his dick split into 20 Dicks. Suddenly, Ally the Skunk's corpse rose up into the sky, and exploded, turning the world around Tails into a Sea of Rainbows, which flooded the diner. So Tails was fucking 20 Elises in Rainbows! "Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh!" said Tails. Then a gritty old sailor Knuckles rowed a boat inside the diner. Then he transformed into a giant pink beast with fangs of gold, and he gobbled Tails up! Tails met some sexy foxes inside Knuckle Beast's body, so they fucked, smoked weed, and danced, all while Knuckle Beast was digesting them! It was so sexual! Then Knuckles stomach juice killed them all! And Tails woke up from his crazy Drugdream

* * *

Sonic showed up at Rouge's house. He was holding flowers, and condoms. He knocked on the door 20 times. "Hey Rouge, come on out!" Rouge opened the door, not wearing any clothes. "What the fuck! I need privacy!" she said. "Oh, you are naked! Good!" said Sonic! Sonic leaped at her and forced his cock down her throat. Rouge cut his cock off, and jumped back. "Fuck you Sonic!" she said, and she stabbed him then threw him over a tree. "Nooooooooooooooooooooooo! My cock!" said Sonic. When she was sure he couldn't see her, she picked up his cock, and started to suck on it. Sonic's cock was so juicy, and filled with fire. It was hot, but it was his cock, so it turned her on. But then, it disappeared!

* * *

"Wtf!" said Sonic, watching his cock magically reappear. "What a crazy new cock! Knuckles must have had some good times with this thing!" said Sonic. Sonic then went to try again, on Rouge. But Shadow got in his way! "Where the fuck do you think you are going Sonic!" said Shadow. "Get out of my fucking way" said Sonic, and he stabbed Shadow. "FUCK! OW!" said Shadow, then he punched Sonic and the temple, which knocked Sonic out. Shadow, who was bleeding hard, picked up Sonic's body and ran away. "Sonic is a piece of shit! Ow! Fuck!" said Shadow. Shadow ran and ran until he could not run anymore. "Goddamn!"

* * *

Sonic woke up the next day, in the middle of the desert, laying down next to Shadow's dead body. "Cool! I killed him with my stab! But where the fuck am I!" said Sonic to himself. Sonic could not find his way out. And he could not run, because Shadow cut off his leg! "What the fuck...Arugh...What..." Sonic hopped around until he could not hop anymore. Then he crawled around until he went unconscious.


	5. Chung

Tails held Elise close, and slowly slipped off her red thong. "Heh heh. You have a big butt, which I like." said Tails. Elise giggled "I know you like that. This is great, I know you will fuck better than Sonic." she said. "Of course I will, Sonic is a huge piece of shit." said Tails, and he started to slip his shorts off. Then he slowly inserted his new dick in her sexual butt. His dick transformed into a tiny dragon, which breathes sperm. Tails wasn't wearing a condom, which was good, because he wanted to have babies with Elise. The dick dragon filled her butt up with sperml, and this was so hot for Elise, she took her shirt off. Tails took his dick out of her butt as she turned around to put her breasts in his face. She rubbed her face with her boobs. Then she did sexy dances for Tails. Tails' Dick transformed into a Godzilla Cock Gun, which shot and breathed cum. But Tails did not know something about this cock, which would not be good. Tails stuck the Godzilla Cock Gun in her vagina, and when he came all inside her, the cock exploded! Elise fucking died in the explosion because it blew her brains out, and Tails had no cock! Tails was bleeding all over where his cock was, and Elise's corpse was shriveled up and her vagina was as hot as lava or magma or something that is as hot as those things, like if you touched it you would burn your finger up hard. Tails was unconscious.

* * *

Suddenly, a beam of light came down in the desert right in front of Sonic who was awoken by the light. "What the heck!" He said. Then, a hedgehog came out of the beam and said "Where is Tails the fox...he owes me lots of drugs!" Sonic yelled "Who the fuck are you!" at him. "I..." the man paused to break Sonic's arm. "am Alex Chung. I am a drug cartel from outer space. Tails has stolen my drugs and now he must die." Sonic said "You will not get Tails!" so then Alex Chung picked up Sonic and chucked him 9000000000 light years away landing in a pond in New York. Then Chung used his psychic abilities to fry Sonic's dick. "Now where is Tails" he said to himself. Then he used the GPS in his mind to find him. He was 3000 miles away "I am coming for you Tails."

* * *

Tails went to Vector the Crocodile Doctor

(Author Note: FANFICTION' GAY BLOG MADE ME LOSE EVERYTHING I TYPED HERE! FUCK YOU FANFICTION FUCK YOU!)

who was an illegal immigant from Homosexylvania so he wore women's clothing and had a gay accent. "Tails darling long time no see!" Vector said and he did a gay walk to Tails. He kissed Tails on the lips and rubbed Tails' dick. Then he stuck it in his butt. "Hmmm...Tails I sense something is not right with your dick. Here, come follow me to the Blowjob 3000." Vector said, then he walked over to the gray cylindrical machine and opened the valve. "Put your dick in here, and you will get a new one." Tails slid his dick in the Blowjob 3000, and it gave him a blowjob. It transformed into the Dicktronic Mach Attack 40 MSA Cockstar. "This is the latest in dick technology, sweetie! Now, let's test it!" said Vector.

Tails fucked Vector until Vector was nothing but a crusty shriveled up cum filled corpse.


	6. Intergalactic Drug Kingpin

Alex Chung flew into the city in his flying black Mercedes Benz that he stole from some wizard boy. The license plate was 666, his favorite number. Alex Chung set the car to Auto Pilot so he could masturbate. The car was flying nicely until a missile hit it in the side, which set the car on fire "Fuck!' said Alex Chung. Chung grabbed the missile and chucked it at the people who shot it. They all died. Chung flicked a switch on his temple which turned his laser eyes into water gun eyes. He sprayed the fire with his water eyes and the fire died. "Fuck you fire!" he said because the fire was dead. "Shit, my car is fucked up!" Alex Chung said, and he ate the car, and grew wings. Alex Chung kept flying into the city. The desert was big which stunk. Then Chung remembered his power to suck shit up. So then Chung suck up the desert, and he spit it out at the sun, which turned the sun into a ticking timebomb. The sun will explode in 48 hours. "Time for Mobius to explode. What a useless planet Ha ha." said Chung to himself, because Chung is a fucking asshole. Chung sucked up the desert, so the city was right in front of him now. "Sexual" said Chung because this was good, just like sex, so he said it was sexual. Anyway Chung landed on top of a shitty building. He pissed on the building, which made it explode. "What a good piss." said Chung. The smoke cleared and there were a bunch of dead bloody people, which turned Chung on, so he masturbated. Which was good. So it was sexual. Then Chung used his laser eyes to kill lots of people. He knew he could not find Tails, so he pissed in the shape of a circle, which created a Piss Portal, which he used to jump inside, and he transported right to Tails.

* * *

"Hello Tails! You are a fucker!" said Chung and he started shooting lasers at him. "Jesus Christ, who the fuck are you!" said Tails, who pulled up his pants quickly, because he was masturbating. Tails said, "What the fuck do you want! Why are you trying to murder my body!" said Tails. "I am intergalactic drug kingpin Alex Chung the Hedgehog, and you have stolen supplies from one of my dealers, Max Kane the Dog. Now if you do not return what is mine, you are going to fucking die!" said Alex Chung. "I got it! I got it!" said Tails, and he went into the kitchen to go in his refrigerator to get the drugs. But instead of drugs, he pulled out a gun, and shot Chung in the heart. "Ha ha, you want to play that game?" said Chung as he pulled the bullet out of his heart, turned it into a turkey leg, and ate it in one bite. _"Wow, this guy is out of his fucking mind."_thought Tails to himself. "I am in my mind, you are out of your fucking mind if you think you can play games with me, you fucking fool!" said Chung and he shot his lasers at Tails' foot, which made Tails fall over. "Aaaah!" yelped Tails. "Give me my drugs or die, Tails!" yelled Chung.

* * *

Sonic hopped into the big city. "I have to rescue Tails from that Alex Chung guy." said Sonic to himself. Sonic called Rouge on his Ringphone. "Rouge, get to the big city, we have to help Tails!" said Sonic. "Who the fuck is this!" said Rouge. "It is me, Sonic!" said Sonic. "Okay, I will be there soon!" said Rouge, and she dropped the guy she was fucking and flew out of her window, only wearing a see through catsuit, which was sure to turn someone on.


	7. Tails' Last Stand

**Tails' Last Stand**

Tails could not hide any longer, because he was about to piss all over, and Alex Chung could smell it. Tails pissed, and Alex yelled "I CAN SMELL THAT YOU FUCKER!" Chung said and he crushed Tails' bed. Then he aimed his eyes at Tails. But then Tails whipped out the Dicktronic Mach Attack 40 MSA Cockstar. He blasted the laser sperm bullets at Chung's eyes. "FUCK YOU!" said Chung, and now he was permanently blind so he could not use the laser eyes. Then Tails used it to burn Chung's skin off, which revealed the metal body under. "Now, you are going to die, Tails." said Chung. Tails' Cockstar then transformed into a normal, regular, penis. "Nooooooooooooooooooo!" said Tails. "Hmmm...I have an idea though." said Tails. Tails took out his porn magazines, and flipped through them while Chung was trying to regain his balance. Tails then started to masturbate. "Ah..ah..!" said Tails, then he knew it was time. He leaped at Chung, and came all over him. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!" said Chung. Alex Chung was pissed off. He used his mind as his new eyes, so he could see again. "Time to fucking die Tails the Fox!" said Chung. Alex aimed his laser eyes at Tails, but suddenly Tails Doll burst through the window and tackled Chung. Chung punched Tails Doll through the chest. "Aaa..." said Tails Doll, and he fell to the ground, dead. Tails stared at Tails Doll's corpse. "No.." Tails whispered. "Fuck you Alex Chung!" said Tails, and he leaped at Chung, but he missed then fell out the window. "Fuck! I am a clumsy piece of shit." said Tails as he hit the ground and broke his face. Tails pissed himself because he looked like a gay nerd with a crushed face. "Shit I am a piss face." said Tails. Rouge dropped Sonic in front of Tails because Sonic is a fat piece of shit who eats too many chili dogs. "Fuck you Rouge!" yelled Sonic. Tails noticed Sonic had no leg, so he transformed Sonic's dick into another leg. "You have no dick now, but now you have a leg." said Tails. This is why Sonic does not have a dick but has two legs in official art. I thought you needed to know this. Tails said "There is Chung, he is powering up! Fuck!" said Tails as he watched Chung transform into Super Alex Chung the Hedgehog. "No! Now it will be impossible to defeat him." yelled Sonic. "Not if we fuse!" Tails said, because since he is smart, he is right. "Rouge you know if we fuse, you will become a dickgirl!" said Tails. "Permanently?" said Rouge. "No" said Tails. "Okay, let's fuse." Rouge said, and they all transformed into Tairounic. "**It is time to die, Alex Chung!**" said Tairounic, and since they fused, the Cockstar came back. The Cockstar charged for it's super attack, The Sperm Death Heart Piercer 70. Tairounic masturbated really hard, and their dick opened up to reveal a Death Cannon, and their testicles transformed into miniguns that look like dragons. They masturbated until it was ready. Then they squeezed the Cockstar, and fired the Death Cannon and dragon miniguns at Alex Chung. "Fuck you! Fuck you Tails the Fox!" said Alex Chung, and his body started to fall apart. "No! I can not be defeated by a fucking fox! No!" yelled Alex Chung, and he disintegrated. Tairounic collapsed, and became Tails, Rouge, and Sonic. "Awesome..." said Tails "We killed Alex Motherfucking Chung the Hedgehog." Tails looked at Rouge, who looked so sexy. Rouge looked at Tails, who was a brave sexy dude. So then, they fucked. Tails did not wear a condom.

* * *

**9 Months Later**

Rouge pushed. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE EEEURRRRRRRRGHAAAAAAAAAAAAAIE!" she screamed. She pushed out the new baby. Tails picked up his new baby daughter. Rouge sighed in relief. She smiled "What are we going to name her?" Rouge asked Tails. "Uhhh...Cream?" Tails said. "Cream the Rabbit, because when foxes and bats have sex it makes a rabbit. This is all science."

So now you know the story of Cream the Rabbit.


End file.
